Trust In The Lord

There are times in everyone's lives where you have to take a step into the dark, and frankly, I'm terrified of what's in the darkness. Right now my path in life has forked. I know the path I should take, but it leads to the darkness, and I'm terrified. I will move forward wanting to kick and scream: "Really?!? I had a plan! I know what I want! I know what's best for me!" But that would be a lie. I think I know what's best for me, but, in reality, I don't. 

"Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thy own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he will direct thy paths." Proverbs 3:5-6 

"And now, I, Moroni, would speak somewhat concerning these things; I would show unto the world that ^afaith is things which are hoped for and ^cnot seen; wherefore, dispute not because ye see not, for ye receive no ^dwitness until after the ^etrial of your faith. For if there be no ^afaith among the children of men God can do no ^bmiracle among them; wherefore, he showed not himself until after their faith." Ether 12: 6, 12

In my trial of faith, I know that I need to trust the Lord. I don't know what the outcome will be, but I know that He knows me. He loves me, and He has a plan for me. 

The To Do List

I have started to write this post about five times now. I would just not post this week, however (if you look back at the dates of all my posts) if I don't post today, you won't hear from me for at least a year. So, I'm just going for it.

An overall theme that I have noticed (as I'm sure all of you have noticed as well) is that I am busy. I used to be the type of person that would LOVE to brag about how busy I am, and that I'm filling up all my time with "SUPER important" things. I'm starting to learn that I don't like it. I mean, I love having my schedule filled, and I love being occupied, but I think that I am starting to see it's negative affects in my life.

Sunday was ward conference for my ward. We were lucky enough to have our Stake Relief Society Presidency come and teach us. We discussed what it meant to be a Woman of Christ. We shared some examples in the scriptures, and eventually ended up in Luke 10:40-41, which reads, "40. But Martha was cumbered about much serving, and came to him and said, Lord, dost thou not care that my sister hath left me to serve alone? bid her therefore that she help me. 41. And Jesus answered and said unto her, Martha, Martha thou art careful and troubled about many things:" Our discussion started to move towards priorities and being busy. Someone pointed out that Martha didn't necessarily do anything wrong in these verses. In fact, she did what most people today would do. She had a list of things to get done. She had deadlines, in a sense. She was trying to get those things done, and she looks over to see her sister sitting and talking instead of helping. 

I know you're thinking, "Seriously? Mary was talking to the Savior. I would sit and join her. That means I'm not like Martha." I agree. I would like to think that if I physically welcomed the Savior into my home, I would join, sit at his feet and listen to his words. The Savior is important, right? But, in this day and age, so are our "To Do" Lists. They are SO important that we wish for more hours in the day to work on them. We are racing around all day, every day to get these things done. I know they are important things, and I am 100% guilty of this as well.

We were discussing these things and someone brought up the fact that we do, but don't FEEL when it comes to the things we have to do. This statement got me thinking about how many times I talk to people just to receive information from them about their responsibilities, but I don't talk to them to feel anything for them, if that makes sense. I mean, I ask: "How are you?" and I listen to their response, but it's become such a habit that I don't take the time to get to know them. I don't stop to really listen, to really care. As I continued to think about this and Martha, the scripture Matthew 25:40 came to mind. "...Inasmuch as ye have done it unto the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me." Ultimately, how we treat those around us is how we would treat the Savior if he were here. 

With this in mind, I ask you to evaluate yourself. How many times have you blown off a person to race to another to do item? How many times have you checked your watch when you are talking to someone because you have things you have to get done? I don't mean to make anyone feel guilty. I know that there are things on everyone's to do lists that absolutely have to get done. I just think we need to enjoy those things a little more. We need to get to know the people around us and realize that they won't always be there. We need to show them that people are more important than our lists. 

Just the thoughts of Kat. :)

There's A Light At The End Of The Tunnel?!?

Life is perfect. I always have ample amounts of money. My car always starts and runs perfectly. I am always happy with everyone in my life. I couldn't ask for a better job. I understand my classes perfectly, and I receive perfect scores on all my exams and assignments. I never feel stress. My body is perfect. I know what I want from my life and where I want to go. 

...In all honesty, I just wanted to see what it would be like to say all of that. Have you ever felt a dark thunder cloud brewing over your head? That's how I feel. The past week of my life has been a test. You could reverse all of the above statements and that would describe my week. Sometimes I wonder why everything happens all at once. You know the saying: "When it rains, it pours"? I'm finding it to be true. LAME.

During all these hard, trying things, I've been ignoring the positives. I usually don't have a hard time finding them, but lately it has been hard. So, dear friends, I will share with you somethings that I am grateful for, #sorrynotsorry. 

1. I am grateful for parents who each have a strong testimony of the gospel. My mom has a strong testimony in the power of prayer. She has taught me that I can turn to the Lord with ANY question or problem and He will hear and answer me. I know this to be true because of her example of it. One thing I know I can always count on my dad for is a priesthood blessing. Because my dad honors the priesthood, I've come to understand the importance of it.

2. I'm grateful for the relationships I have with my brothers. I'm not saying they're perfect relationships, but I am grateful for the friendships we do have. I can have so much fun with any of them. We can goof off and fight like nobody's business. We can talk, joke around, make fun of each other, and still be best friends. I never say it enough, but I love my brothers. They are all major examples in my life. 

3. I am grateful for the opportunity that I do have to work and go to school. As much as both of these things drive me crazy sometimes, I love being able to grow and expand my horizons.I never thought I'd say this, but I'm learning that I enjoy math. Probably not to the extent that I want it to be a major part of my career, but I enjoy it. 

4. I'm grateful for the examples that come from working on institute council. I work with some pretty amazing people. Each person on council has taught me so much about so many things. I am grateful for their friendship and the love that they show to me and each other.

5. I'm grateful for laughter. I'm grateful that, despite our trials and hard times, we are meant to be happy and cheerful. 

We can find the silver lining in all things. Sure, it may seem like you're staring at the darkness sometimes. It may seem like the light at the end of the tunnel just went out. It may seem like the light is an illusion. However, one thing I know for sure is if we seek it, we will see the light. Not the illusion of light, but we will see light in it's true form. No matter how dark life may seem, no matter how hopeless things may feel, we can always find a silver lining.

If At First You Don't Succeed, Destroy All Evidence You've Tried

The five of you that read my blog will probably get sick of me talking about my Wednesday night meetings. However, I don't care. I learn a lot when I'm around those people, and they are helping me become who I need to be.

Every Wednesday in my council meeting, we have a lesson about a principle that has to deal with leadership. Last night's lesson was "Putting First Things First" (kind of ironic when it comes to my last post). The person who was teaching this lesson had us list things on the board that we think were his priorities in life. We said the typical things: family, work, church callings, civic duties, etc. We talked about each area, and then he asked this question: What happens if I slack in one of these areas? Automatically, my mind answered (about me, not him): Failure. 

I was at a fireside a few months back with Elder Nelson, Elder Oaks, Elder Halstrom, Elder Johnson, and Sister Burton. I can't remember who talked about this (that's why I listed them all), but one of the general authorities spoke about our generation and failure. He discussed that when we aren't perfect at something we assume that we are failures.We define ourselves as a failure after one mistake. This thought was the first one that came to my mind after the word 'failure'. 

As I let these thoughts stir in my mind, I had a small phrase come to me. This is a phrase that, I feel, a lot of people need to remember. "You are NOT a failure. Just because you've slipped up, messed up, or dropped the ball doesn't mean that you are a failure. That doesn't define you as a failure. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and be a little better than you were before." 

These little experience taught me a few things. 1- Satan will ALWAYS try to confuse you and make you feel less than you are. How fast was he in my head? He does NOT want my to succeed. He does want me to feel like a failure. He wants me (as well as all of you) to forget my worth and the great things that I can accomplish. 2- "The adversary is quick to attack, but the Savior knows when to save." I truly believe this with all of my heart. If we are building our relationship with Jesus Christ, there is nothing that can knock us down. He is always there for us when we need him. 

When you're feeling like a failure, remember: "You have not failed until you quit trying."

Spread Thin?

Right now in my life, I am consumed with things. My week is literally spent running from one thing to next. In fact, my Thursdays are booked from 7:00 a.m. to 10:30 p.m. with only an hour of "free time".  I've had a hard time finding enough time for sleep. I've had a hard time finding time to exercise! I can feel my body beg for it, but I have to choose between running or getting enough (read: minimum amount of) sleep to function the next day. I have been blessed in the past year to be working, going to school, focusing on two callings (which I LOVE, and will cry when I'm released: pure honesty), and trying to squeeze in social time as much as possible. It has taken a toll. I've been having a hard time feeling unified with people in all areas of my life, and I have been under a lot of stress. Interestingly enough, this ad has been on my mind WAY too often:

http://www.lds.org/media-library/images/mormonad-spread-thin-1118354?lang=eng&category=

The Lord has a sense of humor, people!

Last night, as per usual Wednesday, I spent my day in classes, and my night in meetings. In the middle of my second meeting, one of my very good friends also involved in my callings pulled me aside, and asked if she could do a one on one with me. I was terrified to say the least. I was waiting for the "If you can't do it, we can find someone else" speech (I really feel like I've been lacking!). However, when we went into the office, she looked at me and asked how I was doing. We discussed some things that are going on in my life, and areas where I feel I have been lacking. This discussion was reassuring. She basically told me that I am doing great. I can improve, but I'm not lacking as much as I think I am. I'm doing well, but she could tell I am stressed. 

That discussion led me to two major things that I have been thinking of. The first one is that the Lord blesses us with people in our lives.  President Thomas S. Monson has stated: "We were not placed on this Earth to walk alone." In the scriptures, it refers to the word "friend" 44 times. I don't think this is a mistake.  We are here to build one another up, support one another, and just be there for one another. I truly am grateful for everyone in my life. I don't know how else to put it. I have an amazing family, great friends, a fantastic ward family, and so many wonderful examples from people I hardly know. My heart overflows with the amount of love I feel from and towards these people.

The second topic I have been thinking a lot about is family and unity. One scripture, in particular has been on my mind: D&C 38:27 "I say unto you, be one; and if ye are not one ye are not mine." The past few months, I have not been united with my family. I rarely am aware of what my brothers are involved in or what they're struggling with, and the same applies with my parents. I know partial schedules, and that's about it. Yesterday, as I was having my "reflection moment", I had another quote on my mind. I don't remember who said it, or the exact phrasing, but it was something along the lines of: you make covenants in the temple, and you practice them at home. This connects in my mind. Like I said before, I haven't been feeling unity in all areas of my life. Where can I practice building unity? My home. Where can I practice being a good friend? My home. I'm not saying I'm or will become perfect at this, but I am starting to try. I know that as I practice this in my family, that I will be blessed personally, as well as my family. 

It's only been 24 hours, and my schedule hasn't changed, but I feel that I've already started to change. I feel happier, and I'm more excited to be around my family and my friends. I know that the Lord has a plan for me. He loves me, and He desires to bless me, and that is what gets me through.

Unique Compliments

Well, hello, blogger world. I would like to think that I was once a brilliant blogger, posting every week, adding pictures, letting the world know me. HA! If you look at the date of my last post, it's nearly been a year since you've heard from me. Fortunately (or unfortunately for some), I am alive and relatively well. :)

I wanted to start a "new segment" of my blog called Unique Compliments. I'm sure you all have had experiences where someone compliments you or tries to tell you something, and you don't know how to take it. It either makes you laugh or makes you think, and all you can say is: "...Thanks? Ha ha!" To be honest with you, as I am writing this, I'm starting to think this doesn't happen as often as I thought it did. However, I want to remember these, so they will end up forever living on the internet.

The first Unique Compliment comes from an awesome 15-17 boy from EFY (he wasn't even in my group!). This was definitely a funny compliment. He said, "Do you know what you have? Cool earrings and a beautiful face." What a stud.

Unique Compliment #2: "You look like death." No joke! This actually happened today. To which I reply (in my head, of course): "Thanks, I'm a college student."

Thinking about the second compliment, I think I may actually be able to use this later in life. "Death is knocking at the door." Whatever! Ha ha! Thanks to my schedule, I know I can master this look by summer! ;) Maybe I can really scare that person with time.

'Til next time!